Thomas & James(35)

James and I met at a conference in Berlin. He's British, I'm Dutch. For four years we lived together in Amsterdam — James worked remotely for a British company. But after Brexit everything changed. James no longer had residency rights in the Netherlands without a visa, and we wanted to be closer to his family in Sussex. We decided to move to the UK.

As the partner of a British citizen I could apply for a Family visa (spouse route). The requirements are strict: James had to prove he earns at least £29,000 per year (the minimum income requirement, recently increased). We had to prove our relationship is genuine — photos, joint bank accounts, tenancy agreement, letters from friends. The file was as thick as a phone book.

The costs were substantial. The visa itself cost £1,846, plus the Immigration Health Surcharge of £1,035 per year for two and a half years. Nearly £4,500 in total for the right to live with my partner. After two and a half years I need to extend (another £1,846), and after five years I can apply for Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) — the British equivalent of permanent residency.

Brighton was a deliberate choice. The city is known as the most LGBTQ+-friendly place in the UK. The Kemptown area is vibrant and open, there's a big Pride, and you never feel uncomfortable anywhere. We live in Hove, technically a separate town but everyone calls it "Brighton and Hove actually". We pay £1,400 for a two-bedroom flat with a sea view.

Finding work as a dependant was straightforward — the Family visa gives you unrestricted right to work. I found a job as a UX designer at a tech company in Brighton. Applying for an NI number was done via an online form with HMRC, my BRP was delivered within two weeks. We pay council tax together, about £180 per month. The PAYE tax return is simpler than in the Netherlands — your employer withholds everything, unless you have additional income.

What I value most about the UK is the acceptance. In the Netherlands we thought nowhere was more tolerant. But Brighton surpasses Amsterdam in terms of visibility and community feeling for LGBTQ+ people. The city breathes inclusivity. The visa process was expensive and stressful, but the result — living together in a city that celebrates us — is worth every penny.