Ingrid(48)

After my divorce I lived with my two daughters (6 and 9) in a rental house in Heerlen. The rent was €950 for a cramped three-room apartment. With my part-time salary as an administrative assistant and child benefit I barely got by, but saving was impossible. My sister already lived in Kleve and convinced me to look across the border. It turned out to be a life-changing decision.

In Kleve I found a spacious Dreizimmerwohnung for €650 Warmmiete — €300 less than in Heerlen, and twice the size. The Kindergeld was a huge windfall: €250 per child per month, regardless of income. With two children that's €500 per month — in the Netherlands I received €260 child benefit per quarter. Additionally I qualified for Kinderzuschlag, an extra supplement of up to €292 per child per month for low-income families.

Childcare in Germany was a revelation. My youngest went to the Kita (Kindertagesstätte) — costs are calculated based on income. With my income I paid €85 per month for full-time care, including a warm lunch. In Heerlen, even with childcare allowance, I paid €400 per month. The difference is astronomical. Kita hours are also more generous: from 7:30 to 16:30, perfect for working parents.

The Anmeldung and paperwork as a single parent had extra steps. I had to register the Sorgerecht (custody) at the Jugendamt — in Germany with unmarried parents the mother is automatically the sole custodian unless otherwise agreed. Then I applied for Unterhaltsvorschuss at the Jugendamt — an advance on child support if the father doesn't pay. That's up to €230 per child per month, provided by the government. In the Netherlands such a scheme didn't exist.

Finding work was easier than expected. Through the Agentur für Arbeit — the German equivalent of the Dutch employment agency — I was matched with vacancies. My Dutch administrative experience was valued, but I did have to take a Sprachkurs Deutsch (language course) through the VHS. After three months I found a full-time job at a tax advisory firm in Kleve. The salary is €2,800 gross — more than my part-time job in Heerlen — and with Kindergeld, Kinderzuschlag and lower rent I have financial breathing room for the first time in years.

My daughters are happy in Kleve. The eldest attends the Gymnasium and has a best friend from Emmerich. The youngest is at the Grundschule and sings German songs at home. They now speak better German than I do. The social safety net in Germany for single parents is considerably better than in the Netherlands: Kindergeld, Kinderzuschlag, Unterhaltsvorschuss, affordable Kita — it makes the difference between surviving and living. My only advice: dare to take the step.