Sanne & Pieter(39)

Pieter was transferred by his employer, an international engineering firm, to their Chicago office. With three children aged 5, 8 and 12, the move was an enormous undertaking. We chose Naperville, a suburb 45 minutes from downtown Chicago, because of its excellent school district. In America your home address literally determines the quality of your school -- Naperville School District 203 ranks in the top 5% of Illinois.

The school system was the biggest adjustment for our family. In the Netherlands the children went to school at 8:30 and were home by 15:00. In America school starts at 7:45 and runs until 14:30, but then there are expected extracurricular activities: sports, music, clubs. Our oldest now does cross-country running and debate club. The youngest entered kindergarten, which here is a full school year -- not the preschool we know from the Netherlands. The middle child had the hardest time: transitioning to an English-speaking environment at age eight is tough.

Healthcare costs were our biggest shock. Through Pieter's employer we have a family plan costing $1,100 per month -- and that's with employer contribution. Our annual deductible is $4,000 per family, meaning we pay the first $4,000 in medical costs entirely out of pocket. A broken arm for our middle child cost us $2,800 out of pocket after the deductible. In the Netherlands that would have been €385 deductible, done. I've learned to always max out an HSA (Health Savings Account) -- tax-free savings for medical expenses.

Daily life in an American suburb is car-dependent. In The Hague we cycled everywhere. In Naperville everything is designed around the car: the supermarket, the school, the sports club. We need two cars -- one we lease for $450 per month, the other we bought. The children miss their bike rides to school. What I miss is the spontaneity of Dutch social life: popping in at the neighbor's for coffee doesn't exist here. Everything is planned weeks ahead via "playdates."

What positively surprised us is the community spirit in Naperville. The neighborhood has a homeowners association that organizes barbecues and Halloween parties. The children quickly made friends through school and sports. Americans are open and hospitable, though friendships sometimes remain superficial. We now host a monthly "Dutch dinner" for the small Dutch community in the region -- it provides a piece of home.

After three years we're settled but not entirely at home. The children speak fluent English and feel American. Pieter and I miss the Netherlands -- the gezelligheid, the compactness, the cycling. But the career opportunities, the large house with garden and the space are invaluable. Our advice to families: calculate in advance what healthcare costs, school costs and cost of living really are. The gross salary in America is higher, but the net costs eat up the difference. Make sure your employer offers a good relocation package with housing, tuition and return flights.